Glory's Fashion Tips
Glory’s Fashion Tips or What I’ve Learned During My Long, Long Life
I may not be as old as Glory, though some mornings after way too long at the computer the night before, I feel like it, but I have learned a few things along the way about the realities of fashion and the not-so-skinny body. Here are my words of wisdom. Take ‘em or leave ‘em.
- Contrary to the fashionistas out there, elastic is your friend. Just never, ever let it show. I’m not kidding. I love elastic at my waist. Okay, I’m admitting it. Maybe I need a twelve step program, and I know it may mean those pounds I’ve gained since before Christmas are here to stay(sigh), but comfort is important to me. The absolute rule is, though, that you are NOT, I repeat, NOT, to tuck a top into those elastic waisted pants or skirt. I see that in public and want to grab the hapless woman and shake her. Honey, it’s never a good look. Bulges, which could be hidden under a skimming loose top, are rudely exposed. Why call attention? Same thing for elastic on puff sleeves. Are your arms skinny when the rest of you is not? Lucky you. I find myself pulling at elastic that wants to bind me anywhere. Elastic that is too tight is not your friend. Make sure it’s the right size. That’s all I’m saying.
- Comfort is king. Yes, I want to look cute. I never leave the house without at least one cute thing on. When I’m in a funk, feeling fat and sure there’s not one cute thing about me, I slip on a pair of sparkling earrings. Instant attention away from that problem area down there. Do I totter around on high heels that might make me sprawl when I try to climb stairs or maneuver over an uneven sidewalk? No way. I find cute shoes with sensible heels. They do exist. I don’t wear anything too tight(see elastic notes) or too short or too low cut. If the outfit makes me have to pull at it to feel comfortable, then it needs to be donated. You can’t be your sparkling self if you’re worried about how you look. I watch Oprah when she’s not in reruns. Some days she’s relaxed and really into her guests. Some days she sits stiffly, not comfortable. I am sure it’s because of the outfit she has on. I study those outfits. She’s up now in weight and I relate to her. Some evil stylist has been putting her in wide belts that hug her waist. What? She’s not only cut in half visually, but I bet they aren’t a bit comfortable. And even she admits the high heels she wears on set are for the few feet she walks to the chair and have to come off if she needs to go farther. Ridiculous. When she dresses in easy outfits and low heeled shoes, her whole demeanor changes and she’s “on”. Watch her and you’ll see what I mean.
- You have assets, use them. Oh, come on. Yes, you do. I know, some days they are hard to find. Right now I’m sitting here in my nightgown and it’s almost noon. Don’t hate me, I’m a writer. Bless you for supporting this habit. Anyway, my hair is uncombed and one look in the mirror would have me figuring there was no asset here worth highlighting. Last time I went shopping, I couldn’t make myself buy clothes. I felt too fat. So what did I buy? Shoes and earrings. Because my feet don’t grow and I know that when it’s combed, my hair looks pretty good thanks to my stepdaughter who takes care of my color and cut.(for free, I raised that hellion). Examine your assets. Great boobs? Show a little cleavage with a vee neck when it’s appropriate. Great legs? Are you wearing skirts that give the world a peek? Men love great legs. How about your eyes? I never leave the house, not even to run to the post office, without my makeup on. I have decent eyes, not such great skin. So I’m a master with concealer and have a terrific collection of eye shadows. And those earrings which I always get on clearance draw attention to my eyes as well as my hair.
Okay, I’m done for now. Not sure I’ve been helpful but as usual the bottom line is that you are worth the time and attention it takes to feel good about yourself. To meet the world with your best face forward, shoulders back and a kick-butt attitude. Like Glory, you are a woman who’s independent and capable of making your own way in the world. So why not look your best doing it?
By: Gerry Bartlett